You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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