what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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