A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops