What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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I Have a Black Friend

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drugs.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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