You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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BIG MAC'S

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Oh and Nero, what are you suffering from? Is it dangerous? Are you dying or something? Please dont scare me like that again.

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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