How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

I'm Coming

In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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