Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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