One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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