Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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