(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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This Anti-Joke is funny. haha.

Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

I'm tired.

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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