Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

thumb_up thumb_down -13

.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

yo mommas so fat she heard it was chilly out so she ran inside and got a bowl

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops