To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your at a racism seminar. You learn not to call black people the n word but you know they really deserve it

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops