"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with its grandmother who just happened to live on the other side of the road because the doctor had said this could possibly be her last week.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust? What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Yellow People !!

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops