Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops