Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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