What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

What do you call a black person born in America? American.

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

why was the cat black it was a black cat

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

Anti - Jokes. com

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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