Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Canadians

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's black and chrispy inside? A black guy with bonecancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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