"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops