How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops