why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

What didn't the artist buy at Best Buy? A Ziploc Bag full of AIDs infested zebra pubes.

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

LeBron in the fourth quarter

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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