Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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