What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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A man walked into a bar and asked if he could use the toilet The bartender told him that it was for paying customers only The man walked up to the bartender, ordered a drink and then proceeded to go to the toilet He came back feeling refreshed, finished his drink and said his goodbyes

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q: Whats the difference between a table and a Mexican? A: You tell me.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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Q. What is Black, White, and Red all over?? A. A girl just having sex and her Cherry broke all over your dick..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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