Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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lewis=cardiac

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

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Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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