You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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