How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

Whats brown a sticky, shit

What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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