Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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A man walks into a vagina

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops