A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops