binladin walks into the american seals

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

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A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Bond. Bond who? James Bond. na-na NA NA na-na na

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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