What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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Ok everyone, you know that kid that after his joke he'll put louis on the bottom because that's his name? He sucks at joke telling and if you see any of his jokes, DISLIKE THEM!

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American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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An Asian with a big dick.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? Well , you see, this black mans name was yargle, and during his high school years, people always made nicknames for him some of which were fat yargle, yargaryar, and bottomyarg. He thought to himself that wanted revenge, So he killed the entire population of earth. Oh ya, and since he was the last human, wirhout possibility of reproduction, he went to the store and bought a can of soup

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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