Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

thumb_up thumb_down +11

my egg roll

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops