How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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John Cena for president

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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