Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

your mom.

It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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