What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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