Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

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Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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A house comes around the corner.

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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