How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Andoni was here

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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my penis

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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