Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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a man was shot.... he died

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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