It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops