a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

one stop shop

How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

why did the kid die? his mom shot him

Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

Womens rights.

Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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