Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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Your girlfriend.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Antijokes...

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops