What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Tell him he won the current game of hide n seek.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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Two children are opening presents for Christmas. Daughter: "Look how many beautiful things I've got, look how much parents love me! And you got a Jo-Jo! Ha-ha!" Son*playing with Jo-Jo*: "Yeah, some of us have Jo-Jo, and some of us leuchemia. Ha-ha."

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Men's rights

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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What happened to the black jew? He went to college and died in a plane crash.

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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