A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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no really what are ur names?

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

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What's the mosy hardest game in the world? The Impossible Game.

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

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A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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Katy Perry

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* anti-punchline

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When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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