Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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