You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops