I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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Brain fart

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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