If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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What did the snake say to the rat?

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How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

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Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

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why did the movie get bad reviews? it was a bad movie

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops