Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

Romeo and Juliet both die at the end of the book. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHA i just screwed you guys over.

The child was fired from his job.

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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