Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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Why was the girl sad? Because she was, you idiot!

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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what's black and can't swim?

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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