Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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Q:Whats evil ,not funny and on wheels A:The Holocost on wheels

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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