There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black man at school the janitor

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's 1+1? 69.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

thumb_up thumb_down -6

yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. -Albert Einstein... LOL JOKES my name is PJ.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops