Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

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I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops