A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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Hellen keller

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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Women's rights

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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What's round and orangey? An orange.

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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